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`i <br />i <br />:j <br />hink of a time when you <br />were talking to soineone who <br />wasn't listening to you. How did <br />you feel? Were you angry a:rd fnis[ra[ed? <br />What did you chinlc of the person who <br />refused to [al:e 8ie [inle to liscen to you? <br />Did you diin!< he �vas arrogan[, rude, or <br />uncaring? <br />Listening u�ell ro anothez person <br />(aften rcFerred io as "active listening") is <br />t[ie found�tion o�good communication. <br />It is an especially impor[ant skSll for <br />pl;anners and planning 6oard members <br />ti�at offers a 4vay to help understaa�d the <br />varieq� of ideas and opinions often <br />encounrered. Listening �e�ef( sends tlie <br />person you are tall<ing to a incssage, "1 <br />care about what you have to say." N[alcing <br />an effort [o understand someone shows <br />respect for [iteir [houghts, and for [hem <br />as an individunl. <br />When [rying ro listen and uz�derstand <br />so�neone it is iinpor[ant to be in an open <br />and noia judgmeiz[al fra�ne of mind. Lis <br />tening to soineo»e means not arguiitg <br />about their ideas or espousing pour o�`rn. <br />Ihat isii'[ Co say that }'onr ideas aren'[ <br />important or [ha[ you shouldn't have an <br />opportunity� Fo voice tliem, btii listenino <br />weii means putting }�oicr own tlioughts <br />on die sl�elf (For a time) and mn�entrat- <br />inb all oF j�our energy oa understanding <br />someone else, I[ isn't necessary m agree <br />with them, Uut it is important Co be <br />accepting and �pproa�hable. <br />THE SICILL OF LISrENIIVG <br />Fortunately, listcning is a skill that <br />can be learned. You can choose to lis[en <br />well. The next [in�e }�ou have a conversa- <br />tion with saineone [ry the �oUowing: <br />1_ Ivlentully Fuais. Decide thatyou are <br />going to lisren and unders�and. Duri l <br />�hinlz abou� ��our o�vn opinions or ideas <br />Cor now. lf }'ou are busy when someone <br />eomes ro tallc to you, malce an appoint- <br />ment ior a time when you won't be dis- <br />tracted. Give your undivided attention to <br />�EATURE <br />f rr - <br />L�� Ileirc 4Untsoi2 <br />the person speaking to you. <br />2. Physicall�� Fonas. Face the uiher <br />person. If you are si[ting, uncrass your <br />anns and lean slightly for��ard. Continu- <br />ous eye contacr can be distracting to <br />soine, so }rou might look at their Face <br />instead oF directly into their e}�es. Also, <br />try to avoid negntive bod}� language. <br />3. Say iiothir�g rvhile ttie person is <br />spealziizg. Jus� listen and try to under- <br />stand them. <br />4. Wheia iJte perso�i is f�inished tallz- <br />ing, repent ba<k [o tlicnt ivlznt��ou hcnizl. <br />Paraphrase so that �rou are composing <br />your o�vn seiitences instead oF parroting <br />badc theirs. Paraphrasiiig 1vi11 lielp you <br />think about the meaning ol what was <br />said. "So ��ou feel tha�...° "Wlsat you are <br />saying is..." "Your dtoughts are..." <br />5. Ask iJyou liemrl tfiern cm red[}�. "Did <br />1 ge� th�t right?° "(s that conect?" <br />G Ctnr'Jy )'oi�r cuidrrstcuiciing oJthcir <br />ideas tisirig open-cnded qieestivirs. Don't <br />use "why" questions. "Why" is a d��l- <br />lenging question d7at requires soineane <br />to justiEy their ideas. Your goal is to hear, <br />not challenge. Use questions such as; <br />"1 aan noc ckear aUout }�onr thoughts on..." <br />or, ° Wlien y-ou said ... did you mean...?" <br />7. Don't sto� aisi��g yutu tistenilig shiiis <br />m�tii die persor: you cire tali:ing to is sntis- <br />fiecL You may think you kno��� what [hey <br />mean, butonly they c1n tell you iPyou <br />realL}' understand them. <br />8. 51�oto yotu i��spccL Tal.e [he Iime to <br />consider tlie ideas of the person you are <br />tallcing ro before you respond. Is there <br />something to be learned? Shuuld you <br />rethinlc some o! your ideas aud opinions? <br />SUD�it�iING UP: <br />Listcniiig ivell is a way oC [izinlzing and <br />behaving when havino a conversaiio�i. <br />Being a good lisrei�er is not a slcill most of <br />us �re born with. Ho�vever, it is some- <br />�hing we cazx tearn to get better a[. <br />bVhe[her we really lis[en to — and learn <br />from — what others ha��e ro say 'ss a choice <br />that each of us m�l<es. � <br />Ilenc R�ntsmi is n rc�is- <br />lurd Landreayc Archiuct ��� <br />in Cnnadn mid n icgisYC�rd �� <br />Profcssinnal Planncr in °;'_ �" : <br />botfi tiic U.S. mid Cmmda ��.� ��•,>:".; <br />Shc has �vorf:cct on projau <br />rnngiug fron� can(nrhrn- <br />sivc mid neigfiborhood <br />iriastcr ptans, to �o�:ing <br />bl'Inu�s nud dcsign gutdcli��cs. hfrr prcrrous arti- <br />dcs Jor [hr PCJ ircrc: '?Sn In(raduc(ion to Dcsign <br />Guidclinc.r" (PCJ �-F!) and "An Inhnd�iction io <br />Urbmi Dcsisfi" (PCJft93)_ <br />����ry�� ''�f �� � <br />�`' <br />s ' � x � <br />6y Lnirrerice C. Geicl:ens, AICP <br />u�itli i11«stratioits by Paad Hoffman <br />L�rny Gcrckcns, A7CP <br />is natiainl histm-imi for <br />the Amerienn fnslilute nf <br />Cei�tificd P�nimers, <br />fomidcr nf The Sncirry <br />fo� fLrtcrlmn City <br />f� Regional Plannii�g <br />Hie'tory, nud cntn'iuts <br />piafezsor nt Tfie Ofiio <br />Statr Universily. <br />PLAiJNLNG COMtvI[SS70NER5 JOURNAL / NUkIBCR 51 / SUMNIGR 2003 <br />.� <br />