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Where Moms Meet continued! home with her three-year-old daugh- pie who worked in the media to ask ground will soon be built adjacent to ter, was one of the first moms to join for coverage. That led to several news the Family Room. the Family Room. paper write -ups. The only cost for "This was exactly what I needed. this publicity was photocopying the Starting your own. My daughter is an only child and fliers." In a single year, attendance The Family Room parents offer needed friends. So did I," she says. skyrocketed from 35 families to 150. these tips for starting a family play cen- The parents who come to the ter in your community: Parents pitch in Family Room .are mainly at-home Start your playroom wherever Burkard and the handful of other moms, but Edelman notes that many you can find donated space: a parents soon realized, however, that working parents, grandparents, and church, a classroom, or a library. the Family Room was too much of a even fathers show up, too. Nan •Find out whether you need habit burden for only one person to oper- Simpson, a mother of adopted Ko- ity insurance (in case someone is in- ate, even someone as energetic as rean children, ages two and three, jured on the property. If the facility Edelman. So all the parents pitched works four days a week as a regis- donating the space requires you to in. They cleaned and staffed the cen have outside insurance, ask a liability ter. They held garage sales to buy expert in your town or city to review equipment and raise the $100 "The key to the room. A local government repre- needed to buy liability insurance for sentative should be able to help. the Family Room. success is to find Establish a few rules. Remind par "The key to success," says Bur- ten parents ents repeatedly -in person and in kard, "is to find ten people who re- writing —that they cannot bring a ally care. But, my gosh, it took us who really care." sick kid to play and cannot leave their months to realize what resources we child unsupervised at any time. had! Too often, as parents of tod Record the name, address, and diers, we lose our identities. We be- tered nurse. She brings her kids in on phone number of each family. come 'Johnny's mother' or `Angela's her day off. Raise money through garage father.' We didn't even know one an- "It's wonderful being able to talk sales or bake sales. Send a press re- other's first names, let alone one to other moms about such issues as lease to your local paper announcing another's talents. I had no idea that toilet- teaching and sibling rivalry," that you're collecting used toys that this one woman -who had spent so says Simpson. "You can read up on are in good condition. many hours playing with her child on these challenges, but somehow it's dif- Publicize, publicize, publicize. the floor next to us -had been an ferent when another parent tells you Find a mentor in business or executive for a big telemarketing com you're going to survive." government. pany in Tennessee." Eleanor Pauly, 70, brings her grand The Family Room found such a Six months after the Family Room son to the Family Room. "When I mentor in Peggy Santillo, a new town opened, the parents made a list of the was raising my children, it was safer. council member who had visited the talents and contacts that each of But I wish that I'd had a Family Room room during her campaign. Santillo them had, and they charged ahead to go to as a young mother.. Back helped convince the council to as- with renewed vigor. then, you said good morning and sume more responsibility for the Fam One mom, a professional seam- good evening to your neighbor, but ily Room. Today the room is run by stress, went to work creating pup- you didn't get too chummy. And eth- the Town of Amherst Youth Board pets and pretend -play clothing for nic divisions often kept parents apart. and a parent advisory committee. the Family Room. Another parent, a A Family Room would have brought Last October the Amherst city coon- storyteller at the local library, offered us together." cil presented Edelman with a special to entertain Family Room visitors. Lastyear, the Family Room parents award for creating the Family Room. Moms who were nurses developed decided to do something about an un- "Sometimes," says Edelman, "one an infection- control plan. Parents safe parking lot adjacent to the cen mom can move a mountain." who were teachers created learning ter. "Our kids needed someplace to With a little help from her friends. O areas in the room. And Rosemary play outside' on warm days," explains Richard Louv is the author of Childhood's Gambacorta, the telemarketing mom, Edelman, "but the parking lot wasn't Future (Anchor) and a columnist for The San put together a strategic` plan to bring safe. When the town council refused Diego Union Tribune. He is currently writing a in more families: to act, the parents protested in front book about fatherhood in America, as well as a guide for parents who want to make a differ- "The town told us we would have of town hail: ence in the lives of children. to increase our membership if we "None of us thought we'd ever pro wanted to continue to use the Family test anything, but there we were, What are you doing to support fam- Room," says Gambacorta. "I had vir- twenty moms and one grandmother, ily life in your neighborhood, child Wally no money to work with. But I politely marching in a circle, pushing care facility, school, or workplace? had the moms. I asked them to leave baby buggies and carrying signs that Tell us what you're doing or what fliers in their pediatricians' waiting said, Playgrounds, Not Parking Lots,' you think could be done. Send your and c omments to Connecting, rooms, to tack notices up on grocery and `Kids, Not Cars.' .Not exactly brit Parent and c ine 685 Third Avenue and pharmacy bulletin boards. We en- liant slogans, but effective." The park- New York NY 10017 couraged the moms who knew peo- ing area was moved, and a play 58 PARENTS JANUARY 1993